Canadians have had enough... - Dodge Diesel - Diesel Truck Resource Forums

Political Discussion Discuss politics here. Complete political forum with a wide range of discussion.

Canadians have had enough...

Reply

 
 
 
Old 11-23-2016, 04:20 PM
  #1  
Administrator / Scooter Bum
Thread Starter
 
Shovelhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 9,071
Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts
Canadians have had enough...

The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week. The Republican presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution.

Canadian border residents say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, liberal arts majors, global-warming activists, and "green energy proponents crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their fingers in their ears and kept coming. Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Alberta border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips. When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers.

Rumors are circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Barbara Streisand CD's, and are overloading the internet while downloading jazzercise apps to their cell phones.


"I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "After all, how many art-history majors does one country need?

{sarcasm}

Shovelhead is offline  
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Shovelhead For This Useful Post:
NJTman (11-23-2016), patdaly (11-24-2016), twostep (12-06-2016)
Old 11-23-2016, 05:36 PM
  #2  
Registered User
 
oliver foster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: vermont
Posts: 3,982
Thanked 1,019 Times in 641 Posts
I laughed out loud several times as I read that.
Thank you!
oliver foster is online now  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 08:14 PM
  #3  
Registered User
 
NJTman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Land of the Toxic Avenger
Posts: 5,754
Thanked 1,057 Times in 736 Posts
Funny stuff
NJTman is online now  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 10:03 PM
  #4  
Administrator / Scooter Bum
Thread Starter
 
Shovelhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 9,071
Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myron_Floren

Shovelhead is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-2016, 11:27 PM
  #5  
Registered User
 
Danderson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: San Diego
Posts: 3,348
Thanked 21 Times in 18 Posts
Hilarious.
Sounds like something The Onion would come up with.
Love it.
Danderson is offline  
Reply With Quote
 
 
 
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
irocpractice
Other
3
12-23-2009 10:05 PM
Boatnik
Other
27
08-05-2007 10:09 PM
Buckshotmckee
Other
21
12-14-2005 10:28 PM
piperca
24 Valve Engine and Drivetrain
41
10-27-2005 04:18 PM
barracuda
24 Valve Engine and Drivetrain
14
09-10-2004 08:53 AM


Thread Tools
Search this Thread
Quick Reply: Canadians have had enough...


Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.