This one was new to me so I thought it might be new to some of you fine folks to (and yes...I use the term "fine folks" very loosely).

Only a Texan knows the difference between a hissy fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Texan knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Texan can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Texan knows exactly how long "dreckly" is --as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Texan babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Texans know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Texan knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin.

Only Texans grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece."

They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. Only a Texan both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Texan would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Texan knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Texans make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody.

Put 100 Texans in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

Texans never refer to one person as "ya'll."

Texans know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Texan knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Texan.

Only true Texans say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."! Sweet tea indicates need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Texan knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Texaness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart.

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Texan stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Texan as a second language!

 

Yup, that sounds pert near right.

Rusty

 

Crazy Crazy,but somereason I understood???? Goodluck,,Rick

 

Yup, I'm a lernin'. !st time I fixed breakfast for my Texas wife, found this on the message board. " With eggies, you get biskets, and grits, **** yankee."

 

All this time i thought i was a lesbian , Seems like i am a texan now....











You need to hear the cowboy joke to understand what i just said.

 

I know which one your talkin' about. Also to be added, a Texan knows that when someone says they want a Coke it might be a differnet brand of soda. This is my addition " While in other states if they say they want a coke, it might not be a soda or a liquid for that matter."

 

I'm Texan born and raised, but I have to take exception to this one. I only drink my tea uncontaminated.

 

we used to always make sun tea. we'd leave it on our propane tank in the backyard for a few hours. havent had it in about 10 years, guess i need to get away from the big city.

 

Sounds good to me..............

 

Only Texans know what "feeder roads" are.

In Texas speed limit signs mean "minimum speed allowed".

 

not a texas thing, its a southern thang.

We also measure distance in minutes and hours.

 

What's a Texan?????????

 

I thought that was everywhere.
P.S. it is a hard system to use telling a rancher, me, and most of the people on my rodeo team distance in minutes is different for each one. A rancher will run 60mph, I'll run 65-70, they'll run 75-governer. Not the most efficient system, but somehow it works.

 

Ever been to Southern California, Geico?


And we measure distance in time as well... Mainly because there are some sections of the freeway system where you can count on traffic flowing 90 and then there are other sections where it's a good day to maintain 19. (Not exaggerating.)

 

Texans do not use turn signals ..... they use BLINKERS .

Texans do not have a garden hose ...... they have a hose pipe .

Texans do not wash the dishes ..... they warsh them .