Just somethings to wonder about!

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person, have to be before considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money does not grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny" for your thoughts"? Where is that extra penny going?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What did "cured" ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then use binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

 

Your thinking to deep maaan.

4x4

 

Sounds like you're channeling George Carlin.

 

Star are rats in a mirror ;D

 

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

All you have to do is to be:

01. a friend
02. a companion
03. a lover
04. a brother
05. a father figure
06. a teacher
07. an educator
08. a cook
09. a gardener
10. a carpenter
11. a driver
12. an engineer
13. a mechanic
14. an interior decorator
15. a stylist
16. a sex therapist
17. a gynaecologist/obstetrician
18. a psychologist
19. a psychiatrist
20. a therapist
21. a good father
22. a gentleman
23. well organized
24. tidy
25. very clean
26. athletic
27. affectionate
28. affable
29. attentive
30. ambitious
31. amenable
32. articulate
33. bold
34. brave
35. creative
36. courageous
37. complimentary
38. capable
39. decisive
40. intelligent
41. imaginative
42. interesting
43. prudent
44. patient
45. polite
46. passionate
47. respectful
48. sweet
49. strong
50. skilful
51. supportive
52. sympathetic
53. tolerant
54. understanding
55. someone who loves shopping
56. someone who doesn't make problems
57. someone who never looks at other women
58. very rich

AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION TO MAKE SURE YOU:

59. are neither jealous nor disinterested
60. get on well with her family, but don't spend more time with them
than with her
61. give her her space, but show interest and concern in where she
goes

ABOVE ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO:

62. Not forget the dates of:
* anniversaries (wedding, engagement, first date...)
* graduation
* birthday
* menstruation

However, even if you observe the above instructions perfectly, you are
not 100% guaranteed that she will be happy, as she could one day feel
overcome with the suffocating perfection of her life with you and run
off with the first wild -bohemian-drunk-bon viveur she meets...

 

you two have to much time on your hands!

 

The last thing I've wondered about is

If I have a bike and am on a freight train thats traveling at 100 MPH if I ride my bike to the front of that train at 20 MPH

Am I traveling at 100 MPH or 120 MPH ??

 

[quote author=pappyman link=board=10;threadid=20547;start=0#msg192895 date=1065326355]
The last thing I've wondered about is

If I have a bike and am on a freight train thats traveling at 100 MPH if I ride my bike to the front of that train at 20 MPH

Am I traveling at 100 MPH or 120 MPH ??
[/quote]
Niether... you'd fall between the cars before you got to 20mph. :

 

You guys are all so smart (and have way too much time on your hands) so answer this one:

If an airplane full of canaries is over gross weight to allow a safe takeoff, and the crew forces half the canaries to fly while doing the takeoff, will that decrease the gross weight of the airplane?

 

For your story, I'd say sure, but cramming enuff birds on an air liner to way it down.... half would be dead... so no.

 

[quote author=Mexstan link=board=10;threadid=20547;start=0#msg192991 date=1065361252]
You guys are all so smart (and have way too much time on your hands) so answer this one:

If an airplane full of canaries is over gross weight to allow a safe takeoff, and the crew forces half the canaries to fly while doing the takeoff, will that decrease the gross weight of the airplane?

[/quote]

Interesting thinking mexstan!

 

A better question in my opinion would be. If you did get your bicylce up to 20mph and the trains stopped, could you?

 

[quote author=Mexstan link=board=10;threadid=20547;start=0#msg192991 date=1065361252]
You guys are all so smart (and have way too much time on your hands) so answer this one:

If an airplane full of canaries is over gross weight to allow a safe takeoff, and the crew forces half the canaries to fly while doing the takeoff, will that decrease the gross weight of the airplane?

[/quote]

Thats an old trucker joke, been around a couple of years, I'm 62 heard it in my teens. Was answered by a professor, answer is NO the airplane (or truck) will weight the same.

Now on the wife happey thing.....I was all that She left anyway. A little tip from an old divorcee, when you are struggling, trying to get a better life, kids screaming, no money, she's right beside you, a guiding light in the night. When you get where you are going, better make shure she did too... 8) Married life can be like a good drunk weekend, feels great, fulfills the necessity in man, makes a point in life, what would life be with out it, but oh the hangover. Then... you have too much time on your hands ;D ;D

 

The intensity of absorbing this thread has exceeded the capacity of my brain. I must go take an aspirin, put a cold wash cloth on my brow, lay down in my perfect wife's lap and take a nap.

ExhaustedBob

 

I could be wrong, but I think Bob is saying that this thread is too intelligent for him and is far too much for his brain to comprehend. : Guess we should all stick to simpler subjects for folks like poor Bob