chaikwa

Morning all. Let's not forget what this weekend is all about, mmkay?

Just like that? I don't know what to say. I've never understood how people can take relationships of ANY kind so casually. As far as I'm concerned, marriage is 'for better or worse', and so should be friendships. People throw the word 'friend' around pretty casually too, most not knowing what a REAL friend is. Wish I could say something that would help, but I'm getting mad just thinking about this, so about all I can offer you is an ear that can listen.



It is Sunday, May 25th.

1844 - The gasoline engine was patented by Stuart Perry.

1844 - The first telegraphed news dispatch, sent from Washington, DC, to Baltimore, MD, appeared in the Baltimore "Patriot."

1925 - John Scopes was indicted for teaching the Darwinian theory in school.

1927 - Ford Motor Company announced that the Model A would replace the Model T.

1953 - In Nevada, the first atomic cannon was fired.

1961 - America was asked by U.S. President Kennedy to work toward putting a man on the moon before the end of the decade.

1968 - The Gateway Arch, part of the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial in St. Louis, MO, was dedicated.

1977 - An opinion piece by Vietnam verteran Jan Scruggs appeared in "The Washington Post." The article called for a national memorial to "remind an ungrateful nation of what it has done to its sons" that had served in the Vietnam War.

1979 - An American Airlines DC-10 crashed during takeoff at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. 275 people were killed.

1986 - Approximately 7 million Americans participated in "Hands Across America."

1992 - Jay Leno debuted as the new permanent host of NBC's "Tonight Show."

1997 - Poland adopted a constitution that removed all traces of communism.

1999 - A report by the U.S. House of Representatives Select Committee on U.S. National Security and Military/Commercial Concerns with the People's Republic of China concluded that China had "stolen design information on the U.S. most-advanced thermonuclear weapons" and that China's penetration of U.S. weapons laboratories "spans at least the past several decades and almost certainly continues today."

2006 - In Houston, former Enron Corp. chiefs Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skillinng were convicted of conspiracy and fraud for the downfall of Enron.

2008 - NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander landed in the arctic plains of Mars.

2009 - North Korea announced that it had conducted a second successful nuclear test in the province of North Hamgyong. The United Nations Security Council condemned the reported test.


Today's thought:
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.


Coffee is ready. Ph00 t00.

FiverBob

Good morning all. Been tied up between Bradenton and Tampa all week running back and forth with the rig trying to deal with the foolishness of people who either do not know how, or don't care, or don't have the ability (meaning "stupid") to handle their jobs. Very frustrating week. In between I would grab an hour to try and work on the rig cleaning, working on roof recaulking/cleaning/sealing. I went to bed last night one whipped pup. So, that is why you have not seen my ugly face.

That being said, Shorts - - likewise, I hardly know what to say. That is so sad. Did you see anything like this coming? Now is the time to hit the knees and seek help, understanding and wisdom from someone a lot bigger and wiser than we are. I will be praying for you.

Grabbing a ph00 and outside loading some more stuff.

.............

Bob

Shorts

Morning yall.

Up at 430, out the door, had to get out. Put diesel in and drove around for a while until 730 church.

I appreciate the words of kindness, yall don't need to say anything too proper really. Just knowing yall are here is what means the most.

I can't lay all the blame on him. These last two days have forced me to take a good hard look at myself. I don't like what I see and frankly embarrassed that I've let myself become so stagnate. Not dynamic like I used to be. I became complacent and ok with it. I failed early on at a random job right after we were married and I let it weigh me down and discourage me in everything new. I let my well become poisoned. I didn't get it until now with my feet to the fire, but it probably changed how he looked at me. I probably dragged him down not being the best me and nurturing my individual person.

He has said before "get a job" or to that effect but I always heard it in the context of a stern dad to a son. Never from the perspective of a husband trying to mold a wife to keep growing. I've let myself be accountable to no one, even myself. And this is the result. I thought that if I didn't do great at that then I could be great at being the supportive wife and that would make everything right.

So, to answer your question Bob, yeah, there were warnings. I heard them, but I didn't listen and understand where they were coming from.

When he walked on and just dropped that bombed, I was very shocked. I thought that we were moving along fine. Heck we even went out last weekend.

I think this sucks though. I never got the message, not like I needed it. And I'm paying the price. I thought it was until death do us part. I thought we had our life to figure things out, to work through the hard stuff, to go through thick and thin. I was wrong.

I don't want this, and I'm not ready. He says he is. I don't think there's any room for compromise. Maybe I'm holding hope there is, even from a pure survival mode so I can still keep functioning. But I don't think the odds are in my favor. Part of me wants to get out of the storm asap. The other part doesn't want to lose what I know as my life. I'm real scared going back to zero. I'm overwhelmed by the practical things I'd have to take care of to support myself. I know one thing, either way I'm going to be working on myself.

Scotty

Hello folks.
I come here to learn, to share and to support.
What Scott said rings strong and true for me too. Thru thick and thin is something I learned is very rare to have. Many conditional friendships and relationships have come and gone for me.
I feel the most important thing is to learn from it.
I also try hard not to assassinate my own character but that's not easy when seeking answers.

I still allturd the phoogoo for BobbyDependable.

j_martin

Shorts,
I've been there. 10 years ago my wife left me, said she just couldn't go on. I had no idea it was coming. I wanted to mend the relationship, and so did she. She was extremely skeptical that it could be done.

We both went through a couple month of rather intense counseling. The basic problems on my part were communications, wanting to control everything, and unreal expectations. I think hers were similar, with unclear communications being at the top.

It was downright scary when we got back together, and it turned into a honeymoon. We're still both imperfect (understatement) sinners, but at least we know what's happening and are in the habit of dealing with it when problems are small.

I wish you well.

NE frmhnd

I've got a lot of "old tractor friends", some "diesel truck friends", a few "facebook friends", a fewer friends. And with the "friends" I had for so long back east, I feel like I have to prove myself to my friends here, even after they've proven that I don't.
As good as i am at communicating and cleaning (HA!!) and being mature (HaHAHA HA HA!!!!) and all it's probably best for all involved if I stay single, and that idea actually hasn't got me down for some time now.

Just realized I have 3 calendars, 2 are 2013's and miraculously, the third is actually on this month!

chaikwa

Talk to him M. I know that sounds obvious, and I also know there's probably other things coming into play besides what you've told us here, (as there should be), but unless there's something else going on that you either don't know or can't tell us, I find it unfathomable that anyone could just throw their hands up and say 'screw it, I'm done', without so much as a conversation. Ten years, (I think that's what you told us), is a considerable amount of time to spend with someone just to throw it all away without even trying. I don't know him, but I can't see myself not giving someone a chance, even if it's miniscule, to try and turn things around.

On the other hand, maybe I'm just gullible and idealistic.

I'd be a bit overwhelmed too! This isn't like a change, it's a life altering event!

I got lucky early on in my life I guess and realized the true value of true friends. I have 2. There are people I call 'friends' for lack of a better term, but they really aren't. (I mean what WOULD you call a contact on Facebook who's on your 'friends list'?) But in my mind, a friend is someone who would give their life for you. Not in a joking way, or in a casual way, but truly in a life or death situation they'd lay down their life for you. Not many people would do that, and admittedly, I wouldn't do it for many people I know either. It's just the way life is, but I'm not going to go calling people my friend when I know the true meaning of the word. "He's a guy I know" is a term I use often! But also in my mind, two people who have vowed their trust to each other in marriage SHOULD be true friends as well. And real, true friends should be able to give each other every benefit of the doubt, every chance, and every opportunity to prove that friendship or maybe, like so many other people, they weren't/aren't 'friends' in the first place.

We're all here for you M, anything you need don't be afraid to ask. The worst someone can say is 'no', and it won't be the end of the world if they do.




As for me, I weed whacked about 3 acres of grass then applied 21 gallons of Glyphosate from 7 tanks in a backpack sprayer. I'm sore. And hot.

Justwannabeme

breathe in, breathe out. seven year itch? loss of respect? hey, you have been through an awful lot . been through a ten year struggle here as well, BUT communication/both parties responsible for change/trust and let the past go helped us. hubby even is talking with a pro by himself; that's big progress. yeah, 312 divorces means communication is key. sometimes a freedom throwback floats around.....doesn't mean the end. write it down. feels better.
scotty is a great listener, PM here as well, you R not alone. will give yu my number....

don't know why we put a bank vault under our barn dug down five feet, rotary drill took two days to bust through 20 inch foundation and one foot floor for boiler eight inch pipe line. so glad second son was here.

officiating at a wedding tomorrow. have to hike up about 2000 ft for a private ceremony at sunrise, then a welcome celebration on horseback through some park trail. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger....

Justwannabeme

beware those girls who are the mothering type......probably further North of you though. love yerself first man, then you can offer up some good stuff! yee haw

hi scottybro, miss ya

Red3quarter

Red, congrats on the new truck. How's it like going back to gas?



Shorts, For what I use the truck for the fuel cost is much less now. I miss the Cummins I had or the last 10 years but I wasn't using it for what it was built for. For a daily driver with little towing and hauling the new hemi works well for me. The big issue I had was diesel being 30 to 40 cents more per gallon around here. I drive 100 miles a week now

Shorts

Very cool. I bet the V8 feels much faster in the daily driving. Glad you are enjoying it.

JWBM, wear you're comfy hiking shoes. 2k feet huh? Stretch before ascending lol But sounds like a good day though.

Chaikwa, things are complicated, actually they were complicated. More talking tonight and now I have a clear picture. Everything makes sense. Cliff's Notes version, I'm done with him.
Will keep yall updated. For now, gotta get my ducks in a row.

Have a good night yall.

FiverBob

Good morning all. Put the coffee and the ph00 on since everyone is so lazy this day. This will be the last post for a while. We leave for Alaska in the morning in the RV. We will return sometime in September. Internet is scarce sitting by a glacier in some wilderness up there - - mostly salmon and bears and moose - - - oh yeh, some mosquitoes - - they are the state bird.

So, ya'll hang tough, look out for one another, be good to Monica (Shorts) and let her know you care. If no one else likes that wonderful ph00, guess you can wait to make it until I get back. I will check in when I can get internet and try to catch up a bit. Stay safe and God bless. Better hide, Scotty - - I am going to find you and ...... uh, going to .......well, give you a hug, and a hug for wee one (who isn't so wee any more). See you a week
from tomorrow.

Bob

Shorts

Morning all.

To the men and women who have sacrificed the ultimate for our nation, and the families they loved and have left behind, thank you. You are not forgotten.

Bob, the mosquitoes, take the FL ones with you please. They are awful outside right now. But what a cool trip, total change of pace for the summer. Drive safe, will be thinking about yall.

Tallguy67

Bob,
If you are near Kenai, just log in to Bark's wifi. It is secured but the password is 'Sean_is_a_freeloader'.

Happy and safe day all y'all.

Scotty

Travel safe BobbyDependable.
Bark sent me a pkg to give to you. Lots of rustling and squealing in that box.
I'll see u soon.

Enjoy the day folks. I'm headed to hospital to get the cast off (only half left) and the staples are in a baggy.