things to ponder
12-08-2005, 03:35 PM
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things to ponder
TOP 10 THINGS TO PONDER:
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. ...make him a sandwich!
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....
not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005 :
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. ...make him a sandwich!
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....
not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005 :
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
12-08-2005, 04:34 PM
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here are a few more:
How do they know what flavor Dog food is? Does some one taste it?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Richard Milhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains
all the letters from the word "criminal."
The second? William Jefferson Clinton. Coincidence?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is
no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
will clean them?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
How do they know what flavor Dog food is? Does some one taste it?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Richard Milhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains
all the letters from the word "criminal."
The second? William Jefferson Clinton. Coincidence?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is
no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
will clean them?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
,as #1 pertains to this thread.
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