MnTom

Saw this at another site and thought some of you may get a chuckle out of it !

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in
the police line, shouting,
"Please come out and give yourself up!"

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from
his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted,
"That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted,
"This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his
pocket.
(Hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE (I LOVE THIS ONE!!!)
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, Cal. some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong.

A thorough top side check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down,and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,
was the trailer!

Good thing they unhitched it from their truck first.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/isabella.htm

apache

I belive the lake isabella one, I used to go there regulary, but now its almost dry. Here`s your sign!!!!!!

firestorm

See, there is algae in the gene pool.

Geico266

Urban stories live one......

SHARPMACHINE

priceless!!!!

dodgeman01

Man I'm glad I don't live in California. There is a lot of stupid people out there
DM01

bdramsey

some folks say cali is the land of Fruits and Nuts no offence intended cali folks

winkle

It's the salt air

Begle1

I'm only Californian by birth... and homestead... and upbringing... and living...

But WE GOT THE BLONDES AND CONVERTIBLES...

wannadiesel

...and the earthquakes, and the mudslides, and the wildfires.

phox_mulder

I've got dual citizenship.

Born there, raised here.

Great place to visit, but no way would I ever live there.


phox

Begle1

But Earthquakes are fun... Mudslides aren't around here... Wildfires are kind of over-hyped in my opinion, when you compare them to hurricanes and hail... But I got nothing the matter with them blondes. Lots of cuties from South of the Border too...

bdramsey

or the tornadoes around here..........