Here is another little supply of tidbits
10-15-2004, 07:30 PM
#1
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Here is another little supply of tidbits
I thought this was funny!!
For those with NO children – this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age – this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age - this is NOT funny.
For those who have children nearing this age – this is a warning!
For those who have not yet had children – this is cause for birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas.
Things I’ve learned from my children (honest and no kidding):
1. A king sized waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house four inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh,” it’s already too late. (No matter how old the child is!)
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jello-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on….Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The Fire Department in Austin, Texas has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox with brake fluid.
For those with NO children – this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age – this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age - this is NOT funny.
For those who have children nearing this age – this is a warning!
For those who have not yet had children – this is cause for birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas.
Things I’ve learned from my children (honest and no kidding):
1. A king sized waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house four inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh,” it’s already too late. (No matter how old the child is!)
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jello-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on….Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The Fire Department in Austin, Texas has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox with brake fluid.
10-15-2004, 08:08 PM
#3
Originally posted by oscaroc
LMAO
That is funny. #24 is so true as I was reading I was thinking if I had Any brake fluid in the garage!
LMAOThat is funny. #24 is so true as I was reading I was thinking if I had Any brake fluid in the garage!
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10-15-2004, 10:32 PM
#8
Registered User
When posted on this or any vehicle related web site, 60% seems very low. I must admit that the thought crossed my mind and based on the previous replys, I'd bet 80%+ would be more accurate.
Smoke is on my list for tomorrow.
Smoke is on my list for tomorrow.
10-16-2004, 07:10 AM
#12
I was banned per my own request for speaking the name Pelosi
Join Date: Aug 2002
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Was thinking whether I wanted to invest $10 for a bottle of brake fluid and a bottle of bleach, then read #24 and woke up.
10-16-2004, 07:44 AM
#13
Thats MR Hoss to you buddy!
I can't comment on brake fluid and bleach....but I can tell you that if you pour gasoline in a small coffee can and light it then the sides of the can will start to bubble....when the sides of the can start to bubble you will get scared and decide this wasn't such a good idea after all.....you will then kick the can over to prevent the coffee can from blowing up like you think it is going to do.....when you do that fire will spread everywhere the gasoline goes.
Another note......flaming gasoline ignites dry grass very quickly.....and when a broom is the closest thing you have to try to put the fire out with you are likely to catch the broom on fire as well.....and it is amazing that when scared to death that you are going to burn down the old abandoned wood house you are next to then you can successfully beat out a small grass fire with a flaming broom.
Trust me.
Also, when you are a small boy with a dog who insists on climbing the fence it is NOT a good idea to wire the fence up to an extension chord and plug it in.
Another note......flaming gasoline ignites dry grass very quickly.....and when a broom is the closest thing you have to try to put the fire out with you are likely to catch the broom on fire as well.....and it is amazing that when scared to death that you are going to burn down the old abandoned wood house you are next to then you can successfully beat out a small grass fire with a flaming broom.
Trust me.
Also, when you are a small boy with a dog who insists on climbing the fence it is NOT a good idea to wire the fence up to an extension chord and plug it in.
10-16-2004, 12:02 PM
#15
Administrator
Originally posted by Redleg
Was thinking whether I wanted to invest $10 for a bottle of brake fluid and a bottle of bleach, then read #24 and woke up.
Was thinking whether I wanted to invest $10 for a bottle of brake fluid and a bottle of bleach, then read #24 and woke up.
Figured it was a test, and I almost failed.
Bleach is still in the laundry room where it belongs,
and so is the really old brake fluid.
phox